Our country has a constant love affair with instant gratification. When you can combine instant gratification with our favorite sport, the NFL, you have to do it. So to combine two of America’s greatest pleasures and treasures, we give you the knee-jerk, way too early NFL Draft First Round Winners and Losers. The Colts and Redskins are obviously winners for being able to draft franchise quarterbacks, even if Washington gave up a boatload of assets, so we won’t include those teams in this list.

First Round Winners
Cleveland Browns- Trent Richardson was called the greatest running back prospect since Adrian Peterson, and Cleveland needed a sparkplug for an offense with a below average QB and an underwhelming corps of receivers. Richardson gives this offense direction and purpose. Then, the Browns traded up and nabbed an intriguing QB prospect in Brandon Weeden, immediately boosting an anemic offense with gutsy moves this franchise has lacked for quite some time.

Dallas Cowboys- Rob Ryan’s defense is like his brother Rex’s; it’s all about pressure and forcing quick, rushed decisions. That’s all well and good if you have cornerbacks who can cover receivers. Dallas did not have that last season. With the addition of Brandon Carr in free agency and Morris Claiborne via an excellent trade on Thursday to give the Cowboys the sixth overall pick, Ryan now has that strong secondary. DeMarcus Ware could now be unleashed knowing the secondary has changed from a weakness to a strength.

New England Patriots- If you watch football, you know that the Patriots offense was really, really good last season and the defense…not so much. With a boatload of picks at his disposal, including two in the first round, Bill Belichick decided to cash in his chips and trade up for a pair of difference makers on D. Chandler Jones is raw but has the ability to be a menacing pass rusher, like New England’s tormentor from this past February, Jason Pierre-Paul. LB Dont’a Hightower comes from a winning tradition in Tuscaloosa and will anchor the linebacking group with Jerrod Mayo for a long, long time.

First Round Losers
Seattle Seahawks- Seattle did trade down to 15 to get Bruce Irvin, the LB out of West Virginia. The problem is that Seattle took Irvin with the 15th pick of round one, not the second round. Unless Seattle mistook Thursday for Friday, this is a “mind boggling pick”, as Mel Kiper Jr. put it, and will likely set Seattle back unless they have an incredible rest of the draft. Like Seattle’s new uniforms, this first pick was ugly and unnecessary.

New York Jets- Of all the Jets’ draft picks over the last 15 years, there’s one top-10 pick that fans really don’t like mentioning: Vernon Gholston. Gholston was a boom or bust, pass rushing end with incredible ability but with poor effort and the propensity to take plays off. Wait a minute…that also describes 2012 first-round pick Quinton Coples, doesn’t it? If you’re a Jet fan and are reading this in the morning, buy yourself a Bloody Mary. If it’s afternoon, buy a beer. Gang Green may have gotten itself another Gholston.

Kansas City Chiefs- Taking a boom or bust pick like Dontari Poe up at 11 wasn’t a proper pick given his value. Even if the Chiefs believed he’s the next Haloti Ngata, they could have traded down at least a few picks and gotten a third or fourth round pick and still pick Poe. He will make KC look brilliant or incredibly dumb; there’s no real in between on this one.