NEW YORK– By Joseph Heller

Fiesta Bowl: UCONN (+17) vs. Oklahoma
The Fiesta Bowl is shaping up to be the most lopsided of the lot. Personally I think Oklahoma is overrated and 17 is a LOT of points (just ask anyone who had Nebraska -14 Thursday night). Take my advice and take the points.

Rose Bowl: TCU (-3) vs. Wisconsin
Outside of the national championship game, this should be the most exciting bowl game. TCU is undefeated and comes into this game trying to prove that they can play with the big boys. On paper, TCU has the better defense and the better passing attack. Wisconsin has the better running game and has played a much stronger schedule then the Horned Frogs. I really want to take TCU especially because Wisconsin has been mediocre at best against the pass (ranked in the mid 40’s in the nation), but when you look at TCU’s schedule they really have not played any worthy opponents this season and that scares me from a betting perspective. The pick here is the Badgers.

Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech (+3.5) vs. Stanford
This is another tough line. The ACC has been great in the bowls so far this season and I expect that to continue with this one. Neither team can stop the run and the game should be pretty high scoring. Ultimately though I trust Frank Beamer to have his boys ready to go, so Va Tech is the pick. Should be another exciting one.

Sugar Bowl: Ohio State (-3.5) vs. Arkansas
Ryan Mallet brings the spectacular Razorbacks passing offense up against one of the best passing defenses in the country. Ohio State has been dealing with a lot of off field controversy but I don’t expect that to factor into this game. With these teams both very evenly matched, for me this comes down to the SEC against the Big 10 and I take the SEC.

National Championship Game: Auburn (-3) vs. Oregon
This game should be high scoring; the over/under currently sits at an absurd 74. I have this game as a stay away. Both teams are undefeated, Auburn played the tougher schedule coming out of the SEC but Oregon played its fair share of tough games as well. My strategy for this would be to toss a coin in the air, but at gunpoint I lean towards the Ducks. Their offense just wears teams down as evidenced by the fact that they lead the nation in fourth quarter scoring. Warning to anyone gambling on the Ducks though, betting against Cam Newton is worse then gambling against Mike Vick, it’s a terrifying experience.

NEW YORK– By Joseph Heller

Now that Christmas is over and the march to the New Year has begun, the college football bowl season takes a turn from the cute and laughable to the more serious bowl games. For anyone out there who may not have been following college ball this season I highly recommend throwing yourself into the rest of the bowl series; if the regular season is any barometer it should be a doozy. Luckily I’m here to guide you through the games you should be watching and some that you should be staying away from.

First things first though got to hand out awards from the first round of bowl action.

The Heidi Game award for best game that nobody saw-

This one goes to the Little Caesar bowl, and if you need to know why I highly recommend this article by one of America’s budding sportswriters.

The Leslie Nielsen award for person I’ll miss the most next season-

Kellen Moore. Moore had a great career at Boise State helping bring the small school two BCS bowl victories, and morphing Boise into a major college program. Unfortunately a loss to Nevada in their final regular season game sent Boise to the MAACO bowl where they soundly defeated Utah 26-3. While were here, Kellen Moore looks like Jay Cutler, and I have photos to prove it. Here and here.

The LeBron James award for team that played with the biggest chip on their shoulders- University of Maryland.

After beating NC State in the last game of the regular season, the Terps thought they were in a solid bowl position. Instead they watched that very same NC State team get the better Champs Sports Bowl invitation and were left with the meager Military Bowl in RFK stadium against East Carolina. Maryland promptly crushed East Carolina 51-20, led by senior running back Da’rel Scott who had over 200 yards on the ground. (Special shout out to head coach Ralph Friedgen who ended his 11-year career as Maryland coach. In the two years that I’ve been on campus you ran a bland offense and an oftentimes-porous defense, but it was always enjoyable watching you run up the score for more free toppings at Papa Johns.)

The Lebron James award for team that quit in the middle of the game-

West Virginia. West Virginia was favored by three points and was my lock for the first round of games. And yes I’m still very bitter that Maryland didn’t get this bowl game (have I mentioned that Maryland beat this team last week of the season yet?). And yes that bitterness led to me placing a sizeable wager on the Mountaineers. Of course I hadn’t counted on the Mountaineers failing to show up Tuesday night and turning the ball over five times in the second half.

The Mark Buehrle award for best defensive play-

Micah Hyde, Iowa. Trailing by four points in the fourth quarter, Hyde intercepted a Blaine Gabbert (Misouri) pass along the sidelines, then took the road less traveled to pay dirt cutting across the entire field before heading to the endzone. The touchdown was the eventual game winning score in the hard fought Insight Bowl. Iowa defeating Mizzou by a score of 27-24.

Now that the hardware has been distributed we can look ahead to a delectable smorgasbord of college football action.

Games To Steer Clear of:
Sun Bowl- Miami vs. Notre Dame, Dec. 31:

Regardless of what the mainstream media may be saying there is no reason to watch this game. Miami has been nothing short of putrid this season while Notre Dame is basically the Brittany Spears of college football at this point.

Outback Bowl- Penn State vs. Florida, Jan 1:

Brett Favre takes a lot of crap for his retirement dance every off-season and as much as I hate the Favre retirement watch I feel were missing out on bashing an even more overplayed retirement story. It seems like every season that I can remember a rumor pops up that Joe Paterno is retiring yet he always ends up coming back for another season. The man is 84 years old. Who gives a shit at this point? And honestly, it’s not as if he’s really coaching these days anyway, they don’t even bother giving him a headset anymore. (Side note- why is he still getting credit in the history books for Penn State wins? HE IS NOT COACHING THAT TEAM.) How about this, if JoePa can name 50 percent of the Penn State roster then he can coach the team next year. If not he can move on to a condo in the state of Florida and a satellite dish so he can fall asleep during Penn State games in peace.

Gator Bowl: Michigan vs. Mississippi State, Jan 1:

Michigan is another over rated big media market team and Mississippi State is a five-point favorite. The only reason to watch this one is if you happen to be wagering on it.

Games that have sneaky potential
Meineke Car Care Bowl: Clemson vs. South Florida, Dec 31:

If you’re a fan of the NFL you are going to want to learn the name Da’Quan Bowers pretty quickly. Bowers is slotted by many to be the top pick in the draft and currently sits comfortably at number two on Mel Kipers big board.

Capital One Bowl: Alabama vs. Michigan State, Jan. 1:

Alabama has underachieved a little in the hangover following their national championship from a year ago, yet they still pack a powerful punch with a ton of Sunday players on their roster. Michigan State has had a surprising 11-1 season and finished in a three-way tie atop the Big Ten conference. This is a big game for the Big Ten to see if they can hang with one of the big guns of the SEC. The only thing that may derail this game is the fact that both teams had bigger bowls on their minds, and it would be a shame if the lack of motivation derailed such a promising game.

MIAMI– By Joseph Heller

A college football playoff seems inevitable. In the extreme times that make up 21^st century America, seemingly the only issue that people can come to an agreement on is that the BCS is evil, and college football needs a playoff. The benefit of a playoff system is obvious. I admit that for a while I was right there with the rest of sports nation, I seethed that schools like TCU could have perfect seasons and still not get a chance to compete for a national championship. How does the NCAA not recognize that the system is so clearly unfair? 

Forget the fact that a playoff means more games, which translates to more injuries. I’d love to see a TCU fan explain to Marcus Cannon (o-lineman from TCU) the virtues of him risking his health for three extra games this season when he has a million dollar paycheck waiting for him this April (although if were playing this game I’d rather see the 350-pound Cannon at an all-you-can-eat buffet, or anywhere other than right in front of me on a bathroom line). I don’t want a playoff because it will take away the best parts of the college football game. As it stands right now college football has a unique regular season. Regular season college football games mean more than regular season games in any other sport. Every time Auburn or Oregon touched the field this season they were playing the equivalent of a playoff game. My main problem though is that switching to a playoff system may mean the loss of my favorite part of the college football season, the bowls. Now I know that many people will be quick to point out that the NCAA can institute a playoff within the current bowl system. However if you read this quote from an interview between Joe Posnanski (a writer from Sports Illustrated) and Bill Hancock (executive director of the BCS) it tells a different story. “Many seem to think that the bowls could coexist with a playoff, but “if there’s a playoff,” Bill says, “that will be the focus. Most bowl executives believe a playoff would eventually kill the bowls, and I think that’s probably right.”

Now I understand that most people would gladly spare the “BEEF ‘O’ BRADY’S BOWL,” or the “uDROVE HUMANITARIAN BOWL.” I mean half of the general public has no idea who these teams are and no need to watch mediocre college football. Aside from the fact that these bowls give schools that aren’t national programs a reason to play hard and their student bodies a reason to show up and root for their team (and by that I mean convince people who are not students to show up and pay for tickets). Every year there are a few bowl games that remind you how great college sports can be.

Sometimes you can be sitting on your couch on a Sunday night just casually flipping through the channels before settling on ESPN for the fourth quarter of the LITTLE CAESARS BOWL. True, a matchup between Toledo and Florida International doesn’t exactly sound riveting on paper, but it’s a Sun. Night and you’ve got nowhere to be and nothing else going on, so you watch. And right before your eyes a somewhat meaningless game turns into a magical night. Down 24-7 at halftime FIU doesn’t roll over and die, they fight hard in the second half taking a seven-point lead late in the fourth quarter. Toledo answers back scoring a touchdown that normally would tie the game up. Except Toledo coach Tim Beckman decides he’s not ok with a tie, he came to the LITTLE CAESARS BOWL to get a win. He gives conventional wisdom the middle finger and goes for two.

Now you’re totally committed to this game. I mean we’ve all seen a football game where a team we have been rooting for is in the same situation and just kicks the extra point and decides they’ll take their chances in overtime. And we’ve all had the thought in the back of our heads that it miiiight just make a litttttle bit more sense to just go for it now and get it over with, even if your brain is saying just take the freebie and let’s get ’em in OT (especially in the NFL when a coin flip usually decides the game). Here’s a coach that has the testicular fortitude to do what we only get to try in video games.

Anyway we’re back on the couch and Toledo decides to go for two, and wouldn’t ya know it they get the conversion and take a one point lead. Only there is still 147 seconds left on the clock. Now FIU has the ball and its fourth and 17 and the game seems all but over. But tonight is not like those other nights. Tonight FIU runs an insane hook and ladder and picks up the first down. A few plays later FIU moves into field goal range. The kicker trots onto the field, and you know that this will be the biggest moment of his entire life. He calmly splits the uprights and bedlam ensues on FIU sideline. Watching those players celebrate like they just won a national championship you forget that the game they just played is essentially meaningless; the arena it was played in not even half filled. Instead you have that silly grin on your face, and you try to process the absurdity of going for two down one and hook and ladders on 4^th and 17.

All of a sudden the announcer reminds you for the 400^th time that this is FIU’s first ever bowl game only this time it means more because you see their head coach running around like a little kid on his birthday trying to play with every new toy at the same time. Our friend the kicker has just become the biggest kid on campus, and there he is on the sidelines chatting it up with one of the cheerleaders. The game ended but you still haven’t touched the remote because you realize that you just found the reason that we put up with all the crap that sports gives us. You realize why we watch a game even when one team’s strategy is to lose so that they can get a good draft pick and the others is to field a team simply to pass the time until that summers free agent class. Sometimes what starts out as a boring night on the couch turns into one of those moments that leave you with a goofy grin and a newfound appreciation for Little Cesar’s pizza. The box score reads Florida International 34, Toledo 32 and that’s how the game will look to the overwhelming majority of people, but you’ll know different.

Maybe you weren’t that guy on the couch Sunday night. Maybe your moment came when Boise State beat Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, or when your team stood up Navy on the goal line for the third time that day. The point is that even though you may not see the need for these meaningless bowl games or the importance of the college football regular season if you understood those little moments you would realize that trading them in for a playoff is a huge mistake.  

If you read all the way to the end of this you probably don’t have too much going on right now, which is good because later tonight I’m coming through with a quick preview for all the major BCS bowls and a couple other intriguing matchups. Thanks for listening.

COLLEGE PARK, M.D.– By Joseph Heller

Another College Football season is winding down with the usual story lines. A debate to find our National Champion rages on with the usual Heisman trophy talk, and once again we get a story we’ve heard too many times surfaces once more: another player is caught attempting to solicit money from a University to play football. It’s only fitting in a year that began with Reggie Bush, one of the best College players in the history of the game, having to hand back his Heisman trophy for accepting over $290,000 worth of gifts while playing football for USC.

Cam Newton has led the Auburn Tigers to the top of SEC in spectacular fashion. The six-foot-six inch quarterback has played the position like no one I’ve seen before. He can throw, with 15 passing TD’s and only five interceptions and a stellar 172.61 QB rating this season. He can run too, with 14 TD’s on the ground to go along with an absurd average of 6.7 yards per carry. Oh by the way he can play receiver too, as evidenced by his stellar grab against Ole Miss last week.  More importantly though, he has the Auburn Tigers undefeated this season, ranked number 2 in the BCS and on the cusp of a national championship berth. Newton was the frontrunner for the Heisman trophy and surely had the kind of talent to play on Sundays.

Many people don’t know that Cam Newton actually began his career at the University of Florida. As a freshman quarterback he was stuck between Tim Tebow and a hard place when controversy found him for the first time. The young quarterback was caught in possession of a stolen laptop and was suspended from the UF football team. Although he was welcomed back to the team and the charges were eventually dropped, Newton decided to leave Florida after discovering Tebow would be returning for his senior season. After a year spent dominating Junior College, Newton became one of the most sought after quarterback recruits. According to ESPN, Newton narrowed his choices down to Mississippi State and Auburn. Allegedly a former Mississippi State player who claimed to represent Newton contacted John Bond (a former Miss. State quarterback) in an attempt to receive payment of around 180,000 dollars for Newton to play football for the Mississippi State Bulldogs. Now some of you may be saying, “well Newton goes to Auburn not Mississippi State so who cares?” Well those people are clearly morons and I’d like to kindly ask them to stop interrupting me with dumb questions.

There have been multiple media reports asserting that Newton preferred Mississippi State to Auburn, and a report in last weeks Sports Illustrated alleged that Cam Newton left the final decision to his father Cecil, who chose Auburn. Here is where things get even stickier: Cecil Newton is the pastor of the “Holy Zion Center of Deliverance” in Newnan, G.A. The church in question was in violation of several city building codes and was most likely going to be demolished. However last September Cecil Newman guaranteed that the building would be brought up to code within six months (all facts taken from an article on ESPN.com). Conspiracy theorists like myself would be inclined to believe that the University of Auburn may have had something to do with Cecil Newton suddenly finding the available funds to repair his church.

Anyone who follows College Football closely can tell you that the under-the-table payment of players is not something new to the sport. It would be naïve at this point to think that the NCAA will solve this problem anytime in the near future. When news of the Cameron Newton scandal dropped Thursday no one seemed particularly surprised nor did anyone even seem upset. How can you blame Cam Newton for wanting a little bit of money when Auburn could potentially make millions of dollars if he brings them to a BCS bowl game? I suspect most people feel like I do, that college athletes deserve some sort of payment for the amount of revenue they generate for their school. However, this argument is neither here nor there since the NCAA is light years away from even considering the idea of paying student-athletes.

The only realistic solution I’ve heard that could have an impact came from (of all people) Scott Boras in an interview with Mike and Mike in the morning. Boras was commenting on a must read article from Sports Illustrated by Josh Luchs (an agent who took part in several under-the-table college payment plans with current NFL players). Boras made the point that if someone in this country wants to practice medicine or law they need a specific education and license that certifies them. However a lot of agents have no credentials or education and get a job simply by befriending a young athlete who doesn’t know any better. With the current rules, I can simply befriend the star of the Maryland football team bring him to an agency in exchange for a job, fill out a form, pay a small fee and all of a sudden I’m a full-blown agent. [Editors note, obviously if you find out that someone named “Joseph Heller” is representing a “Torrey Smith” we’ll all just pretend we never had this discussion…. Also if you're wondering to yourself what constitutes a “full-blown” agent, well it's probably EXACTLY what you were thinking]

Until we begin to police agents by forcing them to receive (and maintain) the proper education and licensure nothing will change. Now I’d be an idiot if I told you that policing the agents will magically solve this problem, but it’s the most realistic solution out there and even the most cynical of people can’t deny that it would help. Of course the NCAA will most likely sit back and do nothing of consequence. Can you even blame them at this point? It’s not like this situation is deterring fans from watching and enjoying the games.

The real loser in all of this may in fact be Cameron Newton. Heisman voters certainly don’t want to select a candidate who, they suspect, might have to hand the trophy back in a few years like Reggie Bush. Meanwhile the Auburn Tigers now have another obstacle in the way of getting to the national championship, as if winning the SEC championship wasn’t tough enough. As for Newton, he had this to say on the second chance he received after he was arrested for purchasing stolen laptops; “I think every person should have a second chance. If they blow that second chance, so be it for them.” According to his math he may be out of chances.